Edition 1SAT 09 NOV 2002, Page H04 Language of love in parents' hands By Michelle Giglio Deaf parents have developed extraordinary methods of communicating with their hearing children. Michelle Giglio reports IT'S bathtime in the Clews family home in Sydney and youngsters Amy and Brooke, like most small children, are busily splashing away. The children then respond to a question -- even though to an outsider it seems like no one has asked it. Their father, Tony, is indeed supervising bathtime, but as he is deaf and cannot speak he uses sign language to communicate with his daughters. Tony's wife, Lise, is also deaf, but she can speak, lip read and hear loud noises through her hearing aids. Like most children of deaf parents, Amy, 2, and Brooke, 4, are ``hearing''. One to two babies out of every 1000 are born with a significant permanent hearing loss. Genetics, however, meant there was a 50 per cent chance the Clews children would inherit deafness. Just how did the Clews manage to raise two speaking children, when they could never hear them crying and when their father didn't speak? Enter a deaf household and typically you'll find lights that flash when the doorbell or phone rings, and alarm clocks with a vibrating pad under the bedsheets. There are even captions on television programs which keep deaf people in the hearing loop. The deaf can even ``speak'' to hearing people on the telephone through the National Relay Service, which will convey a written message for them. Interpreters who sign are widely available for situations like a doctor's appointments or university lectures. And mobile phone text messaging has done wonders for the deaf community. Children are therefore just another stimulus to incorporate into a deaf home. Before their children were born, the Clews installed a baby alarm with a light that flashed when the infants cried. Lise also had a pager. ``If I was out in the garden hanging out some washing (and the baby cried), the pager would vibrate,'' she says. Communication with the children is a mixture of speaking and Auslan -- Australian Sign Language. Lise says the children actually learned to sign before they could speak. ``When Brooke was about six months old, she could tell me that she wanted to have a drink or food,'' Lise says. ``I think we had communication a lot earlier than hearing people would have.'' Dr Trevor Johnston, from the Royal Institute of Deaf and Blind Children in Sydney, says it is ``amazing'' when Auslan becomes a hearing child's first language. Dr Johnston, who wrote the Auslan dictionary, says deaf families with hearing children use eye contact and visual clues much more than others. Parents also tend to anticipate their children's needs rather than wait to respond to a demand, he says. Former Olympic decathlete Dean Barton Smith, diagnosed with deafness at two, has similar experiences to the Clews with his hearing children in Melbourne. Even though Barton Smith's wife, Fran, is hearing, she learned Auslan when they met (it made mixing with his friends easier, she says). The couple signed to their children Alexander, 4, and Zoe, 18 months, from when they were born. The children could sign ``mummy'' and ``milk'' from the age of nine months. Barton Smith said parents might find child-rearing easier if they could use Auslan. ``It sometimes saddens me to see how parents cannot determine what their child is trying to tell them. If parents adopted some simple signs, they would be able to quickly determine the child's needs and be less stressed and more responsive.'' There are extra advantages for children raised by deaf parents, Barton Smith says. By the time Zoe and Alexander start school, they will have acquired two languages, he says. And the children tend to be very resourceful. Stomping feet, banging a wall or tapping a parent's body may be considered tantrums in some homes, but hearing children use these techniques effectively to get their parents' attention. Dr Johnston says that, contrary to what some may think, there is no evidence to suggest hearing children of deaf parents have problems learning English. ``Any problems will disappear when they start school,'' he says. Some children, like Brooke Clews, may speak very quietly -- there is no point speaking loudly to people who can't hear you, mother Lise says. Brooke is gradually learning to ``turn up the volume'' at pre-school, she says. There are some drawbacks for deaf parents, such as not being able to hear a child's first words. Dean Barton Smith used his ability to lip-read and observe facial expressions to capture the special moment with his daughter Zoe. ``I also would often place my hand on her chest to sense the vibration of her attempts to speak. This makes up for not hearing the word itself,'' he says. Despite a recent landmark ruling in Victoria that allowed a deaf couple to screen their IVF embryos for deaf genes, the Barton Smiths would never want to ``choose'' a hearing child, they say. ``I've seen what Dean can achieve. I do not see (deafness) as a disability,'' Fran says. Dean, who represented Australia at two Commonwealth Games and the Barcelona Olympics, is a senior executive of a national telecommunication company and completing a masters degree, is an example of how being deaf is no barrier to success. ``I think what saddens me is that there is this continual misconception about deafness,'' he says. ``Having a hearing loss is manageable and you don't die from it.'' There is scant research on the effects of ``deaf parenting'' on hearing children. University of Melbourne PhD student Maureen Spicer, who recently submitted a six-year thesis on the topic, says hearing children of deaf parents were much more independent than others their age, as they had more responsibilities in the family, such as interpreting. ``The resilience of these children is really good because of their early independence and sense of responsibility,'' Spicer says. ``They have taken the vulnerability and overcome it themselves.'' Adelaide's Karina Morgan, 24, is one who maintains that growing up in a deaf household was a positive experience. ``People used to say `your house must be so quiet and still'. But it was the opposite,'' Morgan says. As her parents didn't talk, Morgan used Auslan to communicate with them and her deaf sister, and learned speech through her grandmother and interacting with other hearing people. ``I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for (my family). I'm much more helpful and caring as I was there to help my parents and sister.'' It wasn't all enjoyable. Morgan's parents relied on her to make phone calls or interpret television programs (``like Neighbours every night,'' she recalls). She even had to interpret her own parent-teacher nights at school. But such events are rare now with modern technology, she says. ``I feel really proud and fortunate having been brought up in a deaf family. It's being part of two worlds,'' she says. Morgan is now passing on the deaf culture to her hearing daughter Kiara, 20 months, signing to her from the day she was born. ``It was important to me. I did not want my parents to miss out on what was happening to her,'' she says. Spicer says her research showed that children of deaf parents who signed well had better communication with their parents than those who did not have good Auslan skills, or whose parents did not have good signing or speaking skills. Such children -- as well as deaf children who may one day be parents -- should be formally taught Auslan to improve communication, she says. LINKS www.aad.org.au Australian Association of the Deaf, (02) 9286 3944 www.betterhearing.org.au Better Hearing Australia, (02) 9744 0167 (NSW branch) www.aceinfo.net.au Not for profit organisation that helps the deaf to access communication technology. Caption: Sounds of silence: Karina Morgan, whose parents were deaf, signs Itsy Bitsy Spider to 20-month- old hearing daughter, KiaraPicture: Tony Lewis Illus: Photo Column: Health Section: FEATURES © News Limited. All rights reserved. You may read this article on-screen or print it once for your own personal use. You may not make further copies, forward it by email, post it on an internet or intranet site or make any other use of it without written permission from us at newstext@newsltd.com.au
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